I grew up into a world of stories. Many of these were fairy tales – the type where the main characters finally got married and lived happily ever after….

As I pushed into adulthood and got married – I found that my story did not quite match those that I was told. It seemed like marriage and living happily were like oil and water. They just don’t go together.

Being happy and enjoying life is up there as the top goals for most human beings. The definition of a life goal is “something that you keep reaching for – but never ever get”.  If you are thirsty, you just grab a drink…and quenching your thirst is no longer a goal.

The reason that being happy stays up there as a top life goal throughout the centuries…is that we just don’t know how to go about getting there.

So, what is happiness?

It is hard to be happy if we don’t know exactly what it is.

For most people, they think that happiness is when “all their ducks are in a row”. Everything is happening the way they want it to….

In life, nothing ever goes the way you want it to go ALL the time. So, by definition, you will never be “happy ever after”. That is the world’s problem with trying to be happy.

In the tradition of marriage, there is a set of vows that is echoed by the bride and groom. It is never really taken to heart by the participants – but buried in these vows is the true key to happiness. Perhaps that is why my fairy tales kept saying “get married and you will live happily ever after”…

Most of us have had the experience of “being in the zone”. When we are in this state, everything seems effortless. We are set to conquer everything that is sent to challenge us. If you can be in the zone all your life, would you be happy?

Perhaps that is why superheroes are so popular. They have the powers to overcome challenges that mere mortals struggle with.

“…for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”. All us married folks remember these words. And all of us have been through these exact things. And the test of a marriage is how the couple handle this part.

I recently heard a definition of true happiness which fits in well with my fairy tales about marriage and happiness. It is about the most accurate definition that I have come across so far in my life and if I can get my head around it, I will be “happy Jack” for the rest of my life….

“Happiness is NOT having everything going right in your life. True happiness is when you know deep within your heart that you have the power to handle ERVERYTHING that happens to come your way in your life…”

…Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it!